Working On Happiness

An excerpt that ties in with something else I wrote about in my book, Facing Our Fears. My infatuation with Julia Roberts and how it had to do with my fears and insecurities.

I have become much better at turning my day around and feeling good about myself. But there was a time in my life when I wasn’t happy with who I was, and as I wrote about that time. “Without my ever meeting her, Julia Roberts, simply by being the person she was, had in some strange way helped me to start feeling better about myself.”

Maybe I’ll add that excerpt in the future, but for now, please enjoy this one from Chapter 11 of my book.

“Happiness: I still have days when I work harder at being happy than I feel I should have to. Sometimes I can actually feel sad without any real reason. Fortunately, I’m able to turn my day around at those times, but occasionally, my old enemy, fear, can bring on a much deeper sadness, especially if I’m worried about the future. That’s when I have to remind myself how some of the experiences I’ve had couldn’t have been just mere coincidences, and I pray to whatever god there is for guidance and reassurance. I often get this through a chance meeting with someone I share my experiences and beliefs with, and the person agrees that our meeting wasn’t just a coincidence. At other times, it happens when I hear a song that holds some personal meaning for me. And then there are those times when this guidance and reassurance comes through reading something I feel I was meant to. For example, like one day in late 2007 when I was feeling fearful about my future and quite sad.

I decided to go to a local mall on my lunch break to look for a new set of headphones for the portable AM/FM radio I listened to while jogging, and after finding a pair that I liked and purchasing them, I went on a search for some junk food to help pacify my emotions. None of the various food stands in the mall had anything to my liking, but as I was leaving I saw a small newsstand that had just opened and decided to stop in quick to see what they might have in the way of snacks. For whatever reason, after only a few steps inside, I happened to spot a magazine with Julia Roberts on the cover. I didn’t think much about it at first because I had also spotted an area with chips and candy bars, but after getting something, I thought that maybe there was a reason I had seen it. As it turned out there was an article about her three children and the happiness they bring her, which I really liked, but there was something else that made me glad I decided to read it.

After being asked why she thought her life turned out as wonderful as it had, she answered that she believed her destiny was to experience joy in her life. I stood there after reading this with tears in my eyes and although I didn’t feel joy at that moment, I did feel less worried about my future and a little happier, and my belief that we receive guidance and reassurance in our lives grew stronger.”

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